X-Force X-Plained

X-Force #1, pages 16-17

Comic

Let's start by noticing just how similar Wildside and Feral are. They both have the same bizarre triangle haircut... thing, they're both supposed to be cat-people, they're both retarded, they both wear sleeveless tops and gloves, they both have pointy elf ears, and neither of them have eyes. At least according to these two pages.

So anyway, feral's jumping around, and tragically had both her legs amputated below the knee, and quips crappy one-liners at Wildside, who quips equally crappy one-liners back at her. Seriously, shit about animal magnetism and furballs? Nicieza, nobody cares.

Look at Wildside's head in that top panel on page 17. It is not connected to his shoulders. It is just floating above his body, where no head could possibly be. Of course, this is all while he's doing that retarded crouch-leap that Liefeld fucking loves. The crouch-leap gives someone the ability to twist their torso such that their nipples are at a 90° angle to their groin. I'm no doctor, but wouldn't that break your spine and pelvis? Really, really painfully?

So, anyway, Feral grabs his mouth, somehow gaining leverage despite the fact that both of them are midair. She quips still more one-liners, and breaks Wildside's jaw. It turns out that Wildside, like Reaper, bleeds oil, and also has a jaw that looks exactly the same broken as healthy. We leave these pages with one final, overdrawn, infinitely banal one-liner from Feral.



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